Christopher Rowe

As I sit here by the pool area of the Novotel, thunder and lightning cracking around me as the heavens open up with tropical rain pour above my head, it occurs to me, that for the moment at least, there is no other place I would rather be.

For additional comfort, other than a few blank sheets of paper and a pen (albeit an iPad in this case) I also have my premix bottle of Jack Daniels that I smuggled out here from my hotel room at a fraction of a cost that it would to purchase one from the poolside bar.

We are now nearing the end of this visit to Singapore, and I thought, whilst sitting by the pool side waiting for its occupants to be charged with 1.21 gigawatts of electricity from a stray lightning bolt, it was a perfect opportunity to reflect on the past six days.

As what typically happens with a trip to Singapore, this being my seventh, and my girlfriend Michelle’s tenth, we check into our hotel, having booked for the night prior and hit the ground running. Our first stop being the Tiger Beer Brewery.

This now being my third brewery I have visited, the Tiger Brewery had a lot to live up to, with previous, extremely impressive trips to Coors Brewery in Colorado USA and Heineken Brewery in Amsterdam, both of which put on a bloody good show an plenty of beer to sample.

You can imagine my surprise when I discovered during the tour, that Tiger Beer was spawned by Heineken! The tour itself living up to the reputation laid forth by its sister brewery in Holland. The one step up from the other brewery’s though, rather than having a set number of drinks to consume, Tiger brewery gave you 45minutes to consume as much beer as you could possibly handle – and not just their Asian range either, Holland beers included!

Inside the Tiger Brewery bar

Naturally, Michelle and I were the last to leave the bar, trying to squeeze in one last pint before our time limit was up. The bar, not being your typical bar was over staffed with drink pourers and tour guides catching a breather between the tour that had just ended, ours, and the tour that was about to start. It was at his point we noticed a lot of chatter and giggling coming from the bar. Curious that we were we decided to finish our drinks at the bar, where the barmaid turned to us and with a cheeky grin asked, “can I ask you a question?”. Curiosity having the better of me, and thinking no harm ever came from asking a question I nodded, taking a sip of my Heineken.

With a serious expression on her face, the younge barmaid lent forward over the counter and with the sternest of expressions asked, “would you rather be raped by an ugly woman or a good looking guy, I mean, really hawt looking guy?”.

Trying to hide just how taken back I was by the close blank range shooting of the question, and thinking how I didn’t want to be raped at all, I kept my composure starred her straight back and with a bit tounge-in-cheek asked, “do I have a paper bag handy?” She looked at me blankly. “You know, to cover the face of the ugly woman?” I finished. Everyone behind the bar, the staff being an even mix of two guys and two girls laughed in unison, Michelle and I included, both of us exchanging glances wondering what the hell just happened here. The conversation then continued, resulting I’m all the guys, including myself voting unanimously for the ugly girl. The barmaid then snorted in disappointment, “you guys always choose the ugly girl!”. Wanting to put her on her toes I asked her the same question back but in reverse, an ugly guy or a hot girl, with a quick sly glance at her fellow female college the then glanced back at me and said girl. Which didn’t surprise any of us, that particular situation doesn’t work in reverse, but it then inspired her on a new variety of choices and so the game continued.

Alas though the final round of drinks came to an end, had it not been another tour groups about to commence we would no doubt been invited for another round ‘on the house’.

The second day of our travels took us to the Singapore Zoo, which in my opinion and for that, I challenge you to find anyone whom disagrees, is the best zoo in the world. Better still, the best zoo just got better with the introduction of two Panda bears, the first two I have ever seen in real life.

The Panda exhibit was amazing, both in the architectural sense and the layout and design of the interior grounds. With Singapores natural temperature being a good 25 degrees and a whopping humidity of 90%, it was natural that these two Panda bears be given their own climatically controlled enclosure, which luckily for me, who was already dripping wet from the humidity was a cool 20 degrees Celsius, in air conditioned comfort.

We spent a good six hours at the zoo, the humidity finally winning us over and encouraging us to retreat to an air conditioned cab to take us back to Clarke Quay.

I have friends that stay in a number of spots around Singapore, from the Royal Plaza on Scott’s road, in the heart of Singapore’s shopping district, to The Elizabeth Hotel, which I have stayed at a few times myself, also off Orchard Road, the main shopping district, but I find it hard to beat any hotel within the facility of Clarke Quay.

Welcome to 1942! The Wings Bar in Clarke Quay

Clarke Quay is simply the nightlife hub, and although there are a few night clubs in the vicinity, by night life I am referring to bars and restaurants, which to me, makes it the perfect spot for a hotel, within walking distance of a buffet selection of food, from fish to Mexican, Portuguese, Indian, Asian, American chains like Hooters, and themed bars and diners like the new Wings establishment – which without a doubt has become my favorite watering hole – sorry hooters girls!

Still can count on a good time and good beer at Hooters – it’s all about the Chicken strips!

Wings is a World War Two inspired bar, completely themes our as a barracks, with a runways landing strip at the entrance. The waitress wearing military uniforms any feminist would find completely offensive and the waiters in army overalls. Over the sound of musics there are gunshots and bombing sirens going off.. The ambiance is brilliant!

Although there is much choice of watering holes in Clarke Quay, the liquor tax in Singapore does make a night out an expensive one, but Singapore does offer you an experience like none other.

The following day with caught the MRT (metro) out to China Town, where amongst other things bought up big on photography props and wares, including an awesome pirate sword turned umbrella. To my disappointment it doesn’t quit fit in the suitcase, so I am going to have to get creative with wrapping it and hope that Australian Customs do not confiscate it from me for it resembling a weapon.

If your still not shopped out from a day of Chinese markets, offering everything from holiday trinkets, electrical gadgets, DVDs an tailored made suits you will do as we did and spend the following morning exploring Far East Plaza and Lucky Plaza along Orchard road; essentially 5 floors of, well, everything, including costume shops that I cleaned up in, it was like candy land to a baby.

Our last stop on this trip was visiting the recently completed gardens at Marina Bay. These new gardens formed part of a self sustaining Eco system, featuring flora from all around the globe, well worth the visit, not only for the flora but what man can accomplish when we put our minds to it.

The first of the two habitats above featured flora from all over the world

Marina Bay Sands

The Marina Bay Gardens at night

That was our Singapore trip for 2013, just a brief visit to check out some new sights and some old favourites.